Ableism vs Acceptance
After listening to the great podcast Jill shared on ‘hidden disabilities and belonging’ it got me thinking about ableism and hidden or invisible disabilities like autism.
“One of the biggest barriers to acceptance and inclusion is ableism. Ableism is defined as discrimination towards someone based on their abilities, often favouring those who do not have a disability and seeing less value in those who do.
Examples of ableism include:
Comparing autistic people negatively to neurotypical people
Believing autistic people don’t "deserve" accommodations
Using functioning labels to categorize and dismiss autistic people
Confusing other co-occurring disabilities with autism
Shaming, excluding, or punishing people for stimming, expressing distress, needing support, or being different
Pushing the autistic person to overcome or hide their disabilities
Use of ableist language.
Internalized ableism is when a disabled person adopts the ableist views of society and projects negative feelings onto themselves. Besides the examples listed above, examples of internalized ableism would include:
Feeling like you don't fit into the disability community
Feeling like you don't "deserve" accommodations
Struggling to advocate for your needs
Overcompensating by pushing yourself to overcome or hide your disabilities
Rejecting disability identity
Internalized ableism can have a significant impact on a person's mental and social well-being. It's not a conscious choice, but rather a result of repeatedly experiencing or witnessing mistreatment and oppression."
I think it’s hard to get away from ableism on PEI because there’s so much stigma around autism. When even doctors tell autistic adults not to get diagnosed it gives the impression autism is something to be ashamed of and hidden. And no one ever mentions the many positive aspects of autism, like our work ethic, attention to detail, expertise, or integrity.
Just using accommodations as an example, an ableist view would be that autistic people ask for accommodations to ‘get out of work’ or ‘get away with something. But in reality, accommodations allow the autistic person to participate fully. When PEI Autistic Adults was invited to participate in the Primary Care Renewal Engagement Meeting, I received accommodations to provide our input in writing. So instead of going to the meeting and being unable to provide much of value, our input was provided in a format they could then share, not just with the other community groups but with doctors and other medical professionals who weren’t even at the meeting. So a win-win. We didn’t get out of work…we did more work in a way that was comfortable for us. That’s just one but each of those examples could be picked apart for the mistake it is.
Whether the ableism is directed inward as internalized ableism or outward it’s still ableism and that’s not acceptance. And it shouldn't be acceptable because it leaves autistic people feeling ashamed of the way we are when we have NOTHING to be ashamed of. We should set a positive example and accept ourselves and others so we can all thrive
I think late diagnosis can be a factor in internalized ableism. If you don’t know you’re disabled then you’re likely to compare yourself to neurotypicals because that’s who you think you are. Then you’ll get into the habit of just blaming yourself for not working hard enough, or doing things correctly, or whatever. Even when you get diagnosed or diagnose yourself, it’s difficult to let go of the idea that the neurotypical way of doing things is the right way and the only way; to put aside your negative thinking patterns, adopt more positive ways of thinking, and allow yourself to find your way.
When I first diagnosed myself, I didn’t think ‘Oh great, now everything makes sense’, I looked back on my life and thought ‘Oh, so this means in every situation that didn’t work out for me, I was the problem all along.’ I think that’s because of all the stigma that still exists in society. It’s a little better if you’re a cute child but too much of society still thinks an adult shouldn’t require assistance, they should be able to make their way. If you listen to that all your life, you tend to believe it even when you should know better. I mean, I know how hard I’ve worked and the things I’ve accomplished and still my inner voice curses at me and calls me stupid on a regular basis.
How about you? Do you struggle to accept and support yourself and others like you? Do you have any tips that have helped you overcome internalized ableism? Please share if you do.
Here are a couple articles about recognizing and coping with internalized ableism:
how to overcome internalized ableism.
coping with internalized ableism and self-loathing