This is a great video. I agree with a statement at the beginning that these traits describe a particular presentation of autism that could apply to any gender.
abusive relationships: I’ve been in abusive relationships because as a people pleaser I didn’t know how to reject the guys who would almost argue me into a relationship because of how much they claimed to need me. And I missed out on relationships with the guys who accepted me and would give me space and would have been much better for me.
internalized anxiety: I feel like I'm drowning in anxiety from a lifetime of being blamed as a troublemaker etc., who caused my own issues and I should just 'act' differently, with no regard for how hard I was 'acting' at the time to try and get along with others. After 50-60 years of that, I feel like my self image is completely f*cked and I have no idea how others my age have survived with any self confidence or self esteem.
speaking bluntly: I still get into trouble with people for speaking my truth and saying something that’s true for me in a straightforward and literal way and having others interpret a completely different meaning. When the words I used were literally the words I meant and didn’t have to be interpreted.
Sensitive: I was described as sensitive and gifted as a child…overly shy, etc.
Socializing: I always felt/feel depleted after social events and wonder how anyone could possibly enjoy the noise and confusion. I need/ed recovery time and the calm of getting back to my routine. When I was young and social, I can’t count the times the phone and door went unanswered as I tried to recover afterward.
Stimming - I stim, not by flapping my hands or being loud, but little twitchy things, playing with my hair, doodling or making random notes.
Communication: I’m much more comfortable and truer (!) to myself communicating in writing rather than in person. Communicating in person is overwhelming to me for all the reasons she mentions, and I’ve blurted out things I don’t even mean just to say ‘something’ at the appropriate time. For me to express what I really think – I need to write it down.
Taking a leadership position: for much of my career at VAC I was a team lead and I was very comfortable in that role.
Gaslighting myself: pushing myself to work too hard and do too much because I thought it was expected or because I thought others were doing more and then overwhelming myself and burning out.
Having a rich inner world and being unable to articulate it outwardly: I’ve often wished I could just share my thoughts with people telepathically and not have to put them into words.
When I was young and social I always had more male than female friends.
Feeling different than other female peers as what is expected from me as a female is different than what I can offer. I’ve always thought that autistic males have it a little easier because males are not expected to be as socially adept as females are.
Excelling at school – I excelled at school until I completely lost interest in the last year or so of high school. I remember telling my teachers that I never studied at home and not being believed because I did so well. But I felt guilty because I didn't work as hard as others and thought I should confess, lol.
I always had socially appropriate special interests like fashion and style, animals, social justice.
I don’t think I’ve ever knowingly flirted or correctly interpreted when someone was flirting with me. 😊
I'll admit I'm envious of the generation of autistic women who were diagnosed or self diagnosed in their twenties/thirties, I mean, I understand they had a hard time up till then but they at least knew there was an explanation and didn't spend their whole lives arguing with themselves and trying to be something they weren't because they didn't know there was anything else to be.
I identify with every one of these traits.
abusive relationships: I’ve been in abusive relationships because as a people pleaser I didn’t know how to reject the guys who would almost argue me into a relationship because of how much they claimed to need me. And I missed out on relationships with the guys who accepted me and would give me space and would have been much better for me.
internalized anxiety: I feel like I'm drowning in anxiety from a lifetime of being blamed as a troublemaker etc., who caused my own issues and I should just 'act' differently, with no regard for how hard I was 'acting' at the time to try and get along with others. After 50-60 years of that, I feel like my self image is completely f*cked and I have no idea how others my age have survived with any self confidence or self esteem.
speaking bluntly: I still get into trouble with people for speaking my truth and saying something that’s true for me in a straightforward and literal way and having others interpret a completely different meaning. When the words I used were literally the words I meant and didn’t have to be interpreted.
Sensitive: I was described as sensitive and gifted as a child…overly shy, etc.
Socializing: I always felt/feel depleted after social events and wonder how anyone could possibly enjoy the noise and confusion. I need/ed recovery time and the calm of getting back to my routine. When I was young and social, I can’t count the times the phone and door went unanswered as I tried to recover afterward.
Stimming - I stim, not by flapping my hands or being loud, but little twitchy things, playing with my hair, doodling or making random notes.
Communication: I’m much more comfortable and truer (!) to myself communicating in writing rather than in person. Communicating in person is overwhelming to me for all the reasons she mentions, and I’ve blurted out things I don’t even mean just to say ‘something’ at the appropriate time. For me to express what I really think – I need to write it down.
Taking a leadership position: for much of my career at VAC I was a team lead and I was very comfortable in that role.
Gaslighting myself: pushing myself to work too hard and do too much because I thought it was expected or because I thought others were doing more and then overwhelming myself and burning out.
Having a rich inner world and being unable to articulate it outwardly: I’ve often wished I could just share my thoughts with people telepathically and not have to put them into words.
When I was young and social I always had more male than female friends.
Feeling different than other female peers as what is expected from me as a female is different than what I can offer. I’ve always thought that autistic males have it a little easier because males are not expected to be as socially adept as females are.
Excelling at school – I excelled at school until I completely lost interest in the last year or so of high school. I remember telling my teachers that I never studied at home and not being believed because I did so well. But I felt guilty because I didn't work as hard as others and thought I should confess, lol.
I always had socially appropriate special interests like fashion and style, animals, social justice.
I don’t think I’ve ever knowingly flirted or correctly interpreted when someone was flirting with me. 😊
I'll admit I'm envious of the generation of autistic women who were diagnosed or self diagnosed in their twenties/thirties, I mean, I understand they had a hard time up till then but they at least knew there was an explanation and didn't spend their whole lives arguing with themselves and trying to be something they weren't because they didn't know there was anything else to be.